{"id":30611,"date":"2024-01-09T11:01:10","date_gmt":"2024-01-09T11:01:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/efectocolibri.com\/nonviolent-communication-an-effective-method-to-improve-your-relationships\/"},"modified":"2024-01-09T11:01:10","modified_gmt":"2024-01-09T11:01:10","slug":"nonviolent-communication-an-effective-method-to-improve-your-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/efectocolibri.com\/en\/nonviolent-communication-an-effective-method-to-improve-your-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Nonviolent communication – An effective method to improve your relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever stopped to think about if you communicate violently? We often think that we do not use violence because we do not physically harm anyone. However, physical violence is only one of many types of violence. For instance, certain words can be as painful as a punch, and they have severe psychological consequences on us and others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We are communicating violently every time we use irony, threat, hostile criticism, labels, comparison, imposition. Most of the time, we do not intend to harm others, but we end up doing so. Also, of course, we are victims of violence, or we receive it.<\/span><\/p>\n

This violent communication dynamic is the default mode of our cultures and societies. In other words, it is what we have learned.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u201cWhen a society is hostile, what is revolutionary is to be gentle\u201d, Virginia Gawel.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

We are not guilty but responsible. As soon as we realize that we are reproducing that mode of communication, we can do something. We can commit ourselves to adopt a more empathetic way, which takes care of our dignity and the dignity of others.<\/span> Violence can build up a level of constant tension and stress in our lives, which completely blocks our creativity and potential, making us slaves to our own fears, anxieties, and resentment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As well as undermining our personal and professional development, violence is gradually damaging our closest relationships (for example, a partner or a relative). Sometimes we are involved in unnecessary conflicts because we remain in a superficial level of conversation, discussing who is right.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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A famous story tells about two sisters who were fighting over an orange. When their mother asked them why they needed it, one replied that she wanted its peel for a cake, and the other answered that she just wanted its pulp to make juice. Conflict solved.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

If that question about what they value hadn’t existed, the discussion between the sisters would have gone on longer. Moreover, the outcome would have been undesirable: less satisfactory results for both people and a weakened relationship.<\/span> Marshall Rosenberg was an american psychologist who developed the method of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a series of simple steps that allow us to resolve conflicts and differences peacefully and effectively.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u201cViolence is the tragic expression of unmet needs\u201d, according to Marshall Rosenberg.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

That means that when we act violently, our behavior hides a fundamental unmet human need, asking us to pay attention. It is not a matter of justifying our violent behavior but of deepening our comprehension of it. Only when we understand we can change it.<\/span><\/p>\n

This method proposes a particular way of communication: to express oneself with honesty and to listen with empathy. A disclaimer: the steps may seem pretty simple and easy, but the challenge is to put them into practice and to sustain it over time.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p>\n