“Any positive change starts with listening, generosity and empathy”. It was with these words that Zeynep Meydanoglu of Ashoka, started one of the sessions at Ashoka Changemaker Summit 2020. The host invited three social entrepreneurs and international leaders of change to share their stories, experiences, and wisdom regarding these abilities that drive positive change.
Among the guests was Kinari Webb, founder of Health in Harmony, an organization that combats climate change and illegal logging of forests through radical listening to the local communities. How do they do it?
They invite a diverse group of communal leaders; they form a circle of people and ask them how to put a stop to the felling of trees. Then comes the hard part: to shut up.
According to Kinari, you can tell the moment in which the group arrives at a consensus because the general energy level lowers as if to say; “that’s it”. Heath in Harmony facilitates the implementation of these ideas then the anticipated happens; the logging slows, and the community feels empowered, proud of being part of the solution.
Another of the guests was Mary Gordon, founder, and president of Roots of Empathy, an organization that trains school children in the development of empathy, as a way to fortify their goodness from infancy and that way prevent future problems.
The methodology is based on scientific evidence and is highly innovative; they invite kids from 5 to 13 years old to watch everything that happens to a baby in front of them.
They observe the body language, their breathing, the sounds they make. The idea is to perceive and describe everything that happens to the baby: What do they feel? What do they need? What do they want? This methodology has been demonstrated as highly effective for training authentic listening and for strengthening emotional and social skills in children.
The third guest was Vuslat Dogan Sabanci, a leader in the sector of media and communication, defender of human rights in Turkey, and especially committed to gender equality. Vuslat promotes the change in public opinion about women’s rights to quality education and insists that listening with an open heart is a fundamental step for changing oppressive power dynamics.
“Generous listening cannot come about on the relational field (from one person to another) if there isn’t firstly internal listening”, says Vuslat.
Through their experiences, they shared the importance of deep listening: – It stimulates continuous learning
– It boosts the development of curiosity, amazement, and gratitude
– It increases self-knowledge and the knowledge of others
– It offers a space for showing vulnerability and creating authentic relationships
– It favors the coming to agreements and conflict resolution
– It sharpens attention to the needs of other beings and the planet
– It allows us to reconnect with beauty
– It improves the understanding of reality
The social entrepreneurs warn that listening generously isn’t always so simple. – Let go of the fear of losing control (when we speak, we control what we say, but when we listen, we cannot control what we are told)
– Recognise the intention with which we listen (do we confirm what we believe or learn?)
– Practice humility and don’t underestimate anybody, everyone can help us grow
– Identify prejudices and biases that everyone brings that can bring us to erroneous interpretations
– Pay attention not only to the words they say but to the non-verbal language as well (gestures, tone of voice)
– Practice being fully present or focus your attention on the present moment
Listening closely and empathizing are intimately related and mutually influence each other. When we listen generously, with an open heart, we give ourselves space to empathize.
Ultimately, it lets us see that we always have something in common, it connects us with our shared humanity. When we empathize, we are able to listen generously better.
According to Mary Gordon, there are two types of empathy: cognitive empathy, which is the possibility of putting things into perspective and understanding the emotion someone is feeling in a rational way, and affective empathy, which means putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes, feeling what they feel.
Beyond the concepts, practicing empathy and active listening gives us the opportunity to build committed connections with ourselves and our surroundings. That individual transformation is the base from which we can change the world for the better.
