Recently, a new trend has been emerging on social media, and when it comes to employee’s personal signatures in companies: people are adding their personal pronouns next to their names. For example: “María García (She/Her/Ella)”, “Antonio García (Him/His/He)”, “Catalina García (They/Them/Ellxs)”.
This clarification, usually put in brackets and in English, indicates how that person would like to be referred to.
It’s about not assuming a person’s gender based on their physical appearance. We shouldn’t assume that we know who they are based on their gender expression or the way they communicate their gender identity to the outside world (usually associated with their clothing, haircut, manner of speaking).
“Using a person’s correct pronouns can help to reduce the tension that a person may experience between the internal (gender identity) and the external (gender expression)” (Shams Selouma)
It is important to remember the difference between sex and gender. Sex is determined by the reproductive system and randomly assigned to us at birth. Gender, however, is a social, historical, and political construct. Thus, a person’s gender identity or self-perception in relation to their gender may coincide with their biological sex (in which case it is called “cis” or “cisgender”) or not (“trans” or “transgender”). They may also identify as neither female nor male, or flow from one gender to another (“non-binary”).
This shift encouraged by the trans community is being embraced by people of all genders (including the “cis” world), as a show of support and respect for non-normative identities.
We are shaped by language: our ability to describe, understand and create the world – to make things happen – is conditioned by language. The words we hear have an impact on our own identity, on other people’s identity and on the bond that unites us: they can bring us closer, create trust and connection, and they can also create distance, disconnection and even hatred.
Using a person’s chosen pronoun is a simple yet extremely powerful gesture that communicates the message: “I see you”, “I respect you”, “I accept you”.
At the same time, changing the way we communicate and implementing gender-neutral language (e.g. using “partner” instead of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”) allows us to apply the principles of nonviolent communication: choosing words carefully, avoiding assumptions, and showing empathy. The latter is especially important as not all people enjoy the same privileges.
“Being in a position where your singular gender identity is visible is a privilege. A privilege that not everyone enjoys; those who are referred to by the wrong pronoun may feel invalidated, disrespected, alienated” (Steven Huang)
There is much talk of diversity and inclusion, but is there real recognition of those who do not conform to the established cissexual and heterosexual norm? Moreover, is there a willingness to take action for inclusion and for everyone to do their part to ensure that no one feels excluded or diminished?
“This is no small matter. Initiatives like these open up spaces for people – especially those who are non-binary – to feel comfortable with how they refer to their identity” (Katia Dumont)
Perhaps the one (and most fascinating) thing we have in common is that we are all different. If we look around us we will not find two identical people: with the same history, interests, talents, ideologies, culture, gender, ethnicity.
Recognising this diversity, and the potential for richness that comes with it, is the first step, but not the last. It also means taking concrete and conscious action to ensure that these differences are not penalised. We need to start to facilitate conversations, spaces, systems and laws that do not leave anyone out.
“Diversity is being invited into a house and inclusion is being able to rearrange the furniture” (Jane Silber)
Here at Efecto Colibrí we want to rearrange the furniture of this society, so that everyone has a place, so that no one is left out, and no one is on the outside looking in. Will you join us in this peaceful and reformist activism?
- You might be interested in this article on gender and diversity in organisations.
